The Plagiarist Story of Plagiarism
by Soren Talen
Summary: This is only grouped FF7 because that's where our story starts. Our epic tale of good, evil, discreetlyor not so discreetly plagiarizing every story alive. It's up to Reno, Severus Snape, Sasuke Uchiha and so many more to liberate all worlds!


Author's note: Yeah... I'm known for shameless plagiarism in my stories where it doesn't get me arrested D), and one day I thought, 'hey, why don't I just make one big story plagiarizing everything?!' No voice in my head offered any reasons on why it wouldn't work, so here it is! Now as you know, everything is a lot of things, so this will probably be one verrry long story. This is just the prologue(s?).

Disclaimer: I don't own most of the stuff I'm putting in here, but for this chapter I don't own Squaresoft(finalfantasies), Saw, Harry Potter, or Naruto.

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Prologue

The world is a screwy place. C'mon, we all know that. Because of the humans that live on it, our world needs saving every century or so… usually during the last five seconds until oblivion. Silly procrastinating humans. More often than not, some unsuspecting person must be divinely selected out from his or her fellows to become a hero, to save the rapidly dissipating order of things. Rarely, there are two heroes, bound by fate, to rescue the hurting world. And even sometimes, a small fellowship must be gathered, using their unique skills to force peace down the throats of the populace.

But once in a fuchsia moon… so rarely that is in fact unheard of… when the world is dying because of hundreds of reasons at once and lies on the brink, a whole gathering of heroes must be scooped from the ordinary people and twined together until their patchy net can sweep clear the wrongs of the universes.

This is one such time. Hate and despair, blood and tears, they can rend friendship and loyalties into shattered glass… but doesn't duct tape fix _anything_? Only time tells all, but then again, so does that gossip at school. Sharpening in the obscurity, insanity in the vacuum, our story starts with Friend. Or it least it would, if the author had not decided at this very moment a _second_ prologue should be added.

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The Second Prologue

His eyes slowly opened to a bland world of cracked, dirty tiles and the unfriendly glare of fluorescent lights… it reminded him of highschool. Ignoring the embarrassing memories that surfaced (who would have though anyone could fit in those small lockers… ouch…), Edward Chris von Muir attempted to come to his senses. A quick glance around the room proved that it was neither his highschool nor any place he had ever seen before, and there were people inside besides him. How was he here…?  
"Alright… recap…" he whispered to himself, surprised at how hoarse he sounded. He was a bard after all, and his voice was one of his most prized possessions. "I was running away from the castle to escape the responsibility of being prince. I met Anna and I fell madly in love… then the attack on the castle…" Edward's eyes widened as he saw the scene again, the arrows raining from the airships in the sky… Anna had pushed him out of the way. "Anna," he choked, finally remembering her cold, still corpse. "I have to end it… kill myself…" the bard prince decided.  
"It was the suicide thing that ended you here in the first place, dumb#$," a scorning voice sounded from the other side. "Weren't you even listening five minutes ago to the death threats?" Edward glanced up to get a better look at the person who was so rudely interrupting his cute moping. The person had fiery red hair, spiky and in a ponytail, with just as vibrant blue eyes. Tattered remains of a suit clothed him, and cracked goggles were pushed up onto his forehead.  
"I was out," von Muir finally said, nervously realizing that the shackles that bound the redhead were binding him as well. "Who said what?"

"The guy from the speaker up there," Redhead shrugged. "What'd he say again, Zell?" Now Redhead was looking at a guy dressed up like a kick-punch fighter nearer to Edward. Though his hair was also blonde, it was short and spiky, while Edward's was shoulder long and silky.

"**'You have tried to waste your lives away when some people struggle so hard to live at all. Now you will all have to fight to live- Bwahahahaha' **evil laughter ect. We just named ourselves, but now that the newbie's up I say we do it again," Zell suggested brightly. How anyone could be so cheerful was beyond Edward at this point.  
"I'm Reno; the city of Nevada was named after me," said the redhead, grinning sardonically. "Since we're all here for 'wasting our lives away', I guess my crime is alcoholism and womanism… or just killing people. But that's wasting other people, not myself. If this was an 'arrest the murderers of the world' convention, I'd have to say this room would be a lot more crowded." Reno then motioned to Zell.  
"My name's Zell Dinct. I'm here for crack, but it just made me happy; there's nothing wrong with that!" he declared, smiling so widely Edward thought it must have hurt. Apparently Zell was still on some of that 'crack'… Mental note: Stay away from drugs… So far everyone had little tattoos, Reno with a crescent shaped red one under each eye and Zell with a vine-like black one on one cheek. Zell motioned with a hyper flourish to the dark figure who appropriately inhabited a corner. The figure had dark, soulless eyes and the same shade of spiky black hair (what was with the spiky?). He wore a loose, light linen/jacket that showed most of his chest before being closed with a giant purple rope. Torn up pants and only one sandal completely his exotic attire.

"I'm Sasuke Uchiha…" he said simply, glaring down everyone as if daring them to ask for the rest of the story.

"Why are you here!?" Zell exclaimed, his bright blue eyes clueless to the unspoken warning. Sasuke's lip curled and his eyes suddenly became red with little black flecks. Zell made a strangled little scream and went limp.

"Alright everyone, Sasuke's here because of people problems…" Reno interjected smoothly, pointing to the next person in line. He wore a flowing robe that, unlike Sasuke's, covered most of his body, with stringy raven hair cut around the nape. He was easily the oldest here, though obviously not a day over forty.

"I am Severus Snape. I was the only one of the Death Eaters that heard Regelus Black's confession of betrayal, but I never told Dumbledore," he whispered, his voice the oddest mix of hatred and sadness. "No matter what I did, I couldn't abide that _Potter_," he said, uttering the word 'Potter' like it was a swear. Edward wondered why Severus hated people who made pots so much.  
"And you are?" Reno asked, looking at Edward.

"…I'm… I'm Edward Damcyan," he said, feeling faint. His stomach was knotting and tears started to sting his eyes. "I cut after my dear Anna's death… and wanted to die… but I don't want to die now. This is way too freaky by far."

"No offense Ed, but get a grip," Reno sighed. No one had ever called him Ed before, but Edward found he really didn't like it. "Oh yeah, everyone… Just saying, if I have to kill you all to get out of here alive in a sick twisted game, I'm going to do it. Nothing personal, but I like myself a lot more than the lot of you," Reno grinned. Before anyone could say anything to that offensive statement, a gun fell out of a small slot in the ceiling, landing in Reno's lap.

"**THE GAME HAS BEGUN! FIGHT TO ESCAPE THIS CASTLE OF DEATH. THE KEY IS INSIDE ONE OF YOU!"** boomed a wicked, loud voice from a speaker in the wall.

Reno laughed and struggled to his feet with the chain hindering him. There were six bullets in the gun at the moment.

"Alright, guys, you know what I told you. If the key is in one of you, I'm going to dig it out!" he shouted, leveling the gun to Edward. Edward fainted and went limp. The gunshot went off, hitting the chain shackling Edward to the wall and breaking it. Everyone stared at Reno in something between shock and disgust.

"Oh come on, I was $in' kidding," the redheaded Turk smirked, shooting his own chain off. "I may be one sick son of $, but I'm not going to die killing, yo." He shot Snape's chain in half and moved on the Zell's. He did Sasuke's last. "Alright all of my nutcases, let's murder the nutcase that started this mess!" Reno roared, holding up his gun with only one remaining bullet and charging towards the door.

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**The Third Prologue**

Far away on the streets of Midgar, Friend strolled the walks of the lowly with a soft smile. His large eyes were a magnificent gray, textured with flecks of violet and shimmering pearl, shining like silk in the night. All the tips of his longish hair were gray as well. Friend in fact loved the color gray. It was as clean as a steely winter dawn, lit up by the molten flaming sun. It was as dirty as Midgar's iron building walls, reeking of money-grubbing businessmen and women. Friend was also insane. That was what the doctors told him, so he supposed they were telling the truth. But insane people never knew they were insane, so did that make him sane? What a dull, _gray_ subject. He loved the color gray.

Suddenly an odd man grasped Friend around the shoulders. It hurt, a little. Friend stared at the odd man until the man could speak. He seemed terribly afraid.

"Didn't you hear? Everyone in the city is in a panic! A meteor is heading towards the earth, thirteen lords of darkness have risen to kill or control us all, the government and their secret police are watching us everywhere, pollution has given rise to mutant humans and animals, rebels are killing each other in the streets, dragon riders have come again, Luke is my father, and true love cannot be achieved!!!" the odd man screamed at him hysterically. Then the odd man ran, he ran so far away, before a secret police patrol shot him down for speaking blasphemy.

Friend blinked. The cool autumn air chilled the odd man's spit that he had sprinkled on Friend's face while yelling. How weird, Friend thought. It was the end of the world as they knew it. He wondered if the end of the world would be _gray_.

He loved the color gray.

…And Cloud absolutely hated the color gray! Sitting in Seventh Heaven, it was all he could do not to slam his fist down on Tifa's clean-scrubbed table. Cloud Strife was an apathetic fellow who had been working as a mercenary for a while, but apathy was no longer ideal. ShinRa, the corrupt company that ruled the city of Midgar, had installed these weird gray slots in the wall of almost every room in almost every house. They monitored the people of Midgar to make sure they were happy. Unfortunately, instead of changing whatever made the citizens unhappy, as some benevolent leader would do, they instead sent their special hitmen to take out the unhappy citizens.

Midgar would be the happiest darn city in the world, even if its population sky-rocketed downward… That was it! His apathetic exterior had the icy chill of coolness before, but now that everyone was doing it he was _normal. _Cloud didn't do normal. No, his sudden normality on top of the stress of having gaping holes in his memory and the threat of death at showing any discontent or anger... it was putting salt in his wounds. He needed to talk to Tifa. Now.


End file.
